Getting myself out of the way

I did it! Tonight I had my 3rd sermon in preaching class. The first two attempts were well written and theologically sound. They even had some humor and interesting illustrations. But the presentation was very boring and stiff. Well tonight I did it. I preached a sermon of which my wife was proud of. My professor was surprised and pleased by. My fellow students were excited for my presence and the volume of my delivery.

So what made the difference? I have been struggling for the last 2 years with getting myself out of the way. I have been overly conscious about myself in public situations, and I would compensate by trying to remove my personality and passion from what I was doing. I have been realizing this as the semester went on that in removing my personality, and trying not to be showy that I have been unauthentic to who I am as a minister. It has been counter productive. I have been so aware of myself that I have been absolutely boring.

I have been praying that God would free me; release me to be myself. And somehow still work through the imperfect and human me. Tonight I felt free, I moved around the pulpit at appropriate times, I spoke loudly and with feeling, I used hand gestures, I trusted myself to not use my notes too much, I didn't worry about saying things just right, and it felt really good.

Praise God!